Confessions of a reluctant human!

I was going through this stage where I was meditating a lot. Toning and chanting all that kind of stuff. I was also going to the Self Realization Center and learned Paramahasa Yoganada’s meditation technique that I did every night. I even had a dream about him and Babaji showing up driving a bus ready to take us on an Astro plane adventure. I hopped on the bus and took off. I don’t remember after that. I’m sure I was learning something really cool.

This was in New York in the late 90’s. In NY I felt like the world was my oyster and I could explore so many things that were available there and this was part of what was going on at that time.

At this time I had many spontaneous past life memories, astro travel I even popped into a few other dimensional places and, or universes. I’ve heard languages that don’t exist on this earth. I’m not sure where or what for I don’t have a map for such things and some of these things are hard to describe because there are no words for some of these things I have seen and experienced. I guess my point is that there was a lot going on in the mystical world for me at this time. This is one of those experiences.

One evening I decided to take a bath. A great place to meditate. So, I’m in the tub singing, chanting and going into trance state. In an instant I have a full on vision of being taken out of my body and being fully aware of standing next to and talking to a gentleman in white robes and I’m in a place that looks like heaven as close as I could describe it. I see tall crystal building’s that look like selenite towers in the background. Its beautiful and big and expansive. I’m aware if people there but, I can not see them.

We are having a conversation and it feels like I am at a stepping off point. Almost like a diving board but much bigger. I am saying to him ” I don’t like it there. It doesn’t feel right to me! I don’t like the way if feels. I don’t want to go back there.” He is saying” This is what you we agreed to. That is what it feel’s like. Its the right situation for you.”

The information I am getting as I am watching this is: My Mother is pregnant with me. I, as a spirit am hovering around my Mother on earth and the family. I’m not fully attached to my physical body yet and very much having second thoughts about coming into this world and the intense family scenario. At that moment I clearly feel I don’t want to be coming here!!! This family has some difficult, painful and serious issues. I don’t like these people! Did I really sign up for this!!!

The gentleman again is saying to me “Really this is what we discussed. This is the right family and circumstance and lessons that you wanted for your growth. You really want do want to do this!

Dang!!! Really! this is me as a Human saying that!

Now me as a spirit being that I was watching said reluctantly. ” Your right, your right. I’ll go! I do want to do this.”
Bam, back in my body in the bathtub. Wow! That was wild!

I didn’t want to be here! I had some serious resistance to coming here! Second thoughts even! I wanted to back out!

Well it has been a rough ride. More to come of that story. Good thing there is some really cool stuff that has happened or I might have given up altogether!

I told Melanie my best friend a few days later about my out of body prelife adventure and she cracked up laughing and shouted, “Oh my God Lorina, You are a reluctant human.”

Well that stuck for quite a while. I thought of myself as a reluctant human.I now have more insights and past life information into this memory and why I’m here and the relationships that I share with my family. That’s a story for another day.

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